Families theories

Ponder these theories: Systems, Exchange, Conflict and Symbolic theory. All of these can or will affect families. Has yours been affected?

Systems theory: individuals in a group influence each other. A prime example of this is when an older sibling has an influence on younger siblings. Sometimes the older sibling doesn't realize it but younger siblings see what their older sibling is doing and does what they do. It's a monkey see monkey do scenario. So I ask you, has this affected your family, and if so was it for good or for bad?

Exchange theory is when someone withdraws from something when they feel they are putting more in then what they are getting out. An example of this is divorce, I assume that couple may get a divorce because one person is putting more in and the other person isn't putting enough in. This frustrates people, and as humans, we tend to take the easy road and give up rather than fight for dear life and communicate the problems. My teacher said "The happiest marriages see a spouse expecting a lot of themselves and little on their spouse".

Conflict theory is that power influences other's decisions and actions. This could be a reason for divorce as well, I am firmly against spousal and child abuse. But I know not everyone feels the same way, some feel power, even physical power shows dominance. Why? Even our social economic status, we feel we need to have the most money or have the highest paying job and feel in charge to make ourselves feel good. Again I ask why?

Symbolic theory is that all our interactions are or can be symbolic or representing something. Whenever we interact with someone, could they say our intentions, or our actions were thoughtful or sincere. Or would they say that they were afraid or scared something would happen or it's a trap. Have any of these theories hit your families? If so, were they good or has it cause destruction in your family?

Families and children, do we want them or do we want to focus on work and other things?

Have you ever thought of family being important? We all hopefully think our families are important maybe the family with our parents and siblings. But what about our future families, aren't they just as important if not more important? Let's start with a family consisting of a husband and a wife, many people I know are scared of getting married because of divorce. Did you know that the average couple headed to divorce has 10 areas of significant incompatibility, while the average couple with a successful marriage has 10 areas of significant incompatibility. You read that right, both couples have the same number, not the same incompatibility but the same number. So being afraid of divorce is really saying you are afraid of failure and if you see failure, you don't think you are strong enough to work through and try and save the marriage. Another fun fact about divorces is that 70% of divorcees after 2 years say they could have and should have saved their marriage.

Children are an  interesting topic because we say that children are the future, but we have created ways to stop having children or not have them at all. According to Benjamin Franklin, the world doubles every 20 years, yet it has only doubled in the last 40 years or so. Why is this? In my opinion it's because people are so concerned about careers and financial stability that by the time a couple is financially secure to have children, it's too late or children aren't on their minds anymore. My teacher made this comment, "rarely do we hear 'I wish I had fewer children' and most often we hear I wish I had had more children." That's because in life we have a tendency now to post pone child bearing and rearing for work and vacations. We should think about how that is going to affect our future and the future of others.

My first time using a blog

Hi my name is Christopher Holden, I am starting this blog to leave my thoughts and what I will learn in the class I am taking, on families and the importance they have in society. I am excited to read comments and understand other people's thoughts and concerns on this topic as it is widely argued for and against. I am also excited to learn this new tool of blogging and see what I am able to do with it.